Therapy-Leonardo

                                          Therapy : Leonardo


                                           "You've got to find your balance,
                                             You have to realize,
                                             You've got to try to find
                                             What's right before your eyes.
                                             And if you find you're falling,
                                             And all your grace is gone,
                                             Just scream for me
                                             And I'll be what you're falling on."
                                                   (Falling On ~ by Finger Eleven)


            Gritting her teeth with frustration, Becky tried to dodge as many rain drops as she could, running to the apartment from her car. ‘Well, you can’t say I didn’t try,’ she thought to herself wryly as she shook the water out of her mane of hair in the foyer. She fumbled with her keys as she walked up the stairs to her apartment. With a sigh of relief she shuffled over to the couch and laid on her back, pressing a hand over her eyes to block out the light. Work sucked recently. Or rather, it sucked more than it usually did. The recession had brought an increase of pressure on her boss, which in turn brought her own stress level way up.
            “Rough day?”
            The voice startled her out of her thoughts. Gasping, she sat straight up and was surprised to see Leonardo sitting in the chair next the couch. With a whoosh of released air she laid back down. It was a shock to see her boyfriend’s brother sitting in her apartment, but then she was getting used to a lot of weird things since she started dating a mutant turtle. “You know I am really starting to regret giving Raph a key to my apartment,” she muttered more to herself than him.
            He had heard. “Raph lent it to me this morning. I thought I would pay you a visit.”
            She raised her eyebrows with surprise. “Why?” She had a pretty good relationship with Leonardo, but she wasn’t what you would call close to him. She couldn’t fathom why he would be here.
            He looked at her sternly. “Raph told me he was worried about you. He’s picked up on how stressed you’ve been lately, and thought maybe I could calm you down with some meditation exercises.”
            She snorted. “Leo, no offense…but I’m not exactly what you would call meditating material.” This was true, as she was slightly less brain dead than Mikey when it came to sitting still.
            He rolled his eyes. “In any case, we’re all a bit worried about you, so I think it would at least give us peace of mind if you just tried it.”
            Becky stuck her tongue out at him.
            He ignored her and gestured for her to sit on the floor with him. She joined him and copied his pose of tranquility. Within seconds she was asleep. She felt him poking her and opened one eye to see him glaring at her. “Are you going to take me seriously or not?”
            She sighed. “I’m sorry Leo, I’m just not really good at this stuff. I’ll try harder though, okay?”
            His expression lightened somewhat. “It’s okay. It’s not an easy thing to do unless you’re used to it. Try thinking happy, calming thoughts.”
            She grinned at him. “Is that what you do? Are you thinking about Lea? How are you guys anyway?”
            She was rewarded with one of Leo’s genuinely warm smiles. “She’s great, as always. Now stop trying to distract me and get back to your meditation.”
            With a smile she closed her eyes and started thinking about things she liked; Raph, her family, friends, books…But after awhile she felt a sense of fear and sadness sweep over her. Without the hectic everyday things to keep her busy, her mind started whirling paranoid thoughts around her head. What if she stopped being productive at work? What if Raph stopped caring for her? What if she ended up letting everyone who cared about her down?
             Leo sensed her growing panic and intruded in her thoughts. “Are you okay?”
             She opened her eyes and raised her trembling hands to her face. “Yeah, I just…the quiet made my mind start dwelling on terrible things.”
             He nodded sagely. “Meditation helps to bring to light a lot of the issues your mind deals with on a daily basis on a subconscious level, some things you might not even be aware of. One of the things you can do is to learn to understand those fears and doubts, and overcome them.”
             She shook her head. “I don’t want to think about them, I can’t bear it.”
             He frowned at her. “That’s a little immature, don’t you think?
             “No! You don’t understand, Leo.” She could feel panic rising in her chest, choking her, but she was unable to control it. “You have no idea how much it scares me.”
             He leaned towards her, puzzled. “How much what scares you?”
             “I’m terrified of failing, Leo! I’m going to let people down, I just know it! I make so many mistakes every day, with everything! What if…what it…the people I care about leave me?”
             He was silent as stone.
             “I mean, I always work as hard as I can, but it’s not good enough. I just want to do things right. I just want to be a good person. I want…” Tears rolled down her face. “I just want you to be proud of me.”
             He enveloped her in a hug, his strong brotherly arms wrapped around her. As she sobbed she realized something she never had before. She really and truly looked up to Leo. His strong sense of loyalty, his unwavering devotion to always do the right thing. It was admirable. He was her hero. She loved Raphael with all her heart. She loved learning things from Don. She loved hanging out with Mike. But she looked up to Leo the way she never had looked up to anyone before. In a world full of corruption and pain, he was her perfect role model.
             Leo pulled her away and looked her in the eyes. “Listen, everyone feels this way at times; unsure of themselves and full of doubt. But you are a great person. I can tell this from what I know of you, and from the way Lea always talks about you. You don’t need to change the way you are. Nobody’s perfect. Strive to be the best you can be, and that will always be enough.”
             She smiled and closed her eyes. “Thanks Leo. That really means a lot to me. I uses I can be a little hard on myself sometimes. I need to take my time and do things at my own pace.” When she opened her eyes again, Leo was gone. She looked around the room, confused. Had he really left that quietly? Had he even been there at all, or did she imagine it? ‘It doesn’t matter,’ she thought to herself, feeling a growing sense of calm wash over her. 'I will always remember what he taught me.'